When work and family
demands are pulling from every direction, our relationships can suffer.
But there are day-to-day actions we can take to reconnect with family
members as much as possible - even when every day is full.
Make a special effort
to demonstrate thoughtfulness: A phone call to your spouse to say 'Hi.
I'm thinking of you'; A whole day devoted to your children's favourite
activities; A special dinner with the grandparents for no particular reason;
An e-mail to your teenager from work.
Rekindling romance
can be hard to do in the midst of family and work demands, but it's important
to give attention to that part of your life. Spend some time considering
what you most like to do with your spouse or partner - then build it into
your life. If we wait until we've got the energy, have the time or sense
the opportunity, we just might wait forever, so set a deliberate schedule.
Are evening walks a sure way to feel close again? Do you need a weekend
away together every few months? How about reserving one day a week to
eat together after the children are in bed - and restrict conversation
to anything but household responsibilities.
It's wise to develop
interests and activities that can be done together as a family, as well
as those we do on our own. Sharing an enjoyable hobby, joining a family
health club, or visiting extended family members and friends can go a
long way in building connections, while pursuing our own interests provides
for personal growth and interesting conversations with our partner.
Check your communication
styles. Are you listening and communicating as much as you should? Have
you fallen into any bad habits, such as letting important issues go, harbouring
anger or resentment, feeling isolated but not sharing your feelings? Sometimes,
just paying extra attention to our patterns of communication within the
family can motivate us to improve them.
One way to strengthen
family bonds is to clarify family responsibilities. Do you have family
meetings regularly to air issues and establish solutions? Is everyone
contributing to the running of the household? Are there areas of daily
stress that can be remedied ith more flexible or more structured ground
rules?
Make plans for the future. A family can strengthen their sense of togetherness by discussing their vision of the future and working together towards those goals. What skills do the children want to develop? Is there a favourite place in the world that you can build travel plans around? Would a grandparent be interested in joining you for a series of night courses? Looking ahead and building plans for all family members helps create a sense of optimism and family strength.
Need more information on parenting? Your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) can help with a child to elder care resource and referral service that is geared toward enhancing the quality of family life. Call your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to see if you are eligible for the child to elder care resource and referral service at 1 866.468.9461 or 1.800.387.4765.
© 2005 WarrenShepell